Katsu (katsudon) wrote in katsu_fic,
Katsu
katsudon
katsu_fic

[Thor] The Calculator: Chapter 11


Loki didn't like the sensation of falling; it reminded him of an extremely unpleasant time in his life that had lead to a lot of other unpleasant times before he'd gotten his head screwed on (mostly) straight.

Likewise, he did not like plans that depended on other people, particularly other people that he didn't personally control like little automatons34, because this was the thing – a shock, really – people were stupid, and tended to be utter crap at doing the thing he needed them to do when it needed to be done, rather than too early, too late, or just forgetting altogether because there was a sale going on at the Krispy Kreme.

And now he was falling, falling, falling, face down toward the sidewalk and temporarily ant-like people and badly parallel parked cards, and waiting for someone to just get it right and do what needed to be done at the right moment for once in his35 miserable little life.

So he distracted himself by thinking, since that seemed a better plan than a long, high-pitched scream of fear, and certainly more manly. It went something like this:

tick

35th floor, assuming approximately 12 and a half feet per floor, that gives me 437.5 feet to fall, and to hell with the air resistance because a suit this badly cut isn't going to do piss all for me anyway

tick

so that puts final height of zero at negative one half gravity multiplied by time squared plus initial velocity multiplied by time (which is zero since I started from rest) plus starting height of my penthouse, so

0 = -(1/2)(9.8)t2 + 0 + 437.5

subtract, then multiply everything by -2, then divide by 9.8...

tick

Lovely! That gives me 89 seconds. Almost a minute and a half. Not even Thor could screw this up.

tick

Wait, it was time squared, so I actually need to take the square root, and that's... damnit, why have I always been so crap at square roots, I think it's... it's... about nine. And a bit.

tick

You know, if I can't even manage to do a goddann math problem in my head any more, if I've really splashed out this stupid, maybe I do deserve to become a splatter of impressionist art on the sidewalk for the drunks to vomit on.

tick

Thor? Feel free to surprise me any minute

no, fuck that, any second now.

tick

Thor?

tick

BALLS

tick





34 – Pull ze strings!

35 – The reader may decide here if Loki is in fact thinking about himself, Thor, or both. All options are equally plausible.
Tags: loki, thor
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